


In A Field of Paper Flowers

by CultMother



Category: Bleach
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Broken Bones, Broken Promises, Crazy, Dark, Developing Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Experimentation, F/M, Falling In Love, Fucked Up, Heavy Angst, Human Experimentation, It will take a long while to kick off., Long, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Mad Science, Manipulation, Masochism, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Psychological Torture, Sadism, Sexual Experimentation, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Unethical Experimentation, Unrequited Love, Yandere, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 22:18:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13961208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CultMother/pseuds/CultMother
Summary: It's not because she can't feel anything. No, she feels the world in a way that he can't comprehend, in bursting, beautiful colors he could never feel himself. His emotions are muted, while hers are an overload.To him, she's nothing more than another tool at the end of the day.Yuri Saiki can't ignore the feelings inside her. She thinks of him constantly and just a single glimpse of him gives her the ultimate high, but like with any drug there comes an unbearable withdrawal. Her thoughts constantly stray to Mayuri Kurotsuchi, while her heart happens to turn towards him as well. Compared to other people, Yuri suffers from bursts of emotion much more powerful than most people experience- her world is like a kaleidoscope, the colors ever-shifting in different shapes just as quickly as her emotions. This is Yuri Saiki's heart, one she hides from view.A simple mistake starts this story.***This happens in an alternate world, where most things still happen, with a few slight changes in the later arcs. 10 years before Ichigo's story.





	In A Field of Paper Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Oh dear, it's been so long since I've looked at bleach, but I just can't contain my love for Mayuri Kurotsuchi any longer. Badass character, most definitely! Now, let's see if I can get his relationship dynamics on point. Wanna jump on for the ride? I'd love to have you! Feel free to point out any mistakes or inconsistencies in his character, or anyone else's, really.
> 
> This takes place ten years before the storyline of the anime/manga- It contains some of the filler from the anime, such as the zanpakuto arc- because that's my favorite arc. I hope I haven't botched his character- reviews are very much welcome! Also, this is gonna be one HELL of a slow burn. Mayuri Kurotsuchi wouldn't just fall in love with someone like *snap*. Holy crap, there's a lot in poor Yuri's future.
> 
> Regardless, Mayuri Kurotsuchi is an EXTREMELY hard guy to write a relationship for- I've noticed that not many can do it right, (those who can, damn it's satisfying) as shown from the rather... bubbly...? way some write him. Dark is more my style and I figure it matches his character to a T! 
> 
> Anything involved with Mayuri tends to be dark. Anything can happen in this fic, so please only read if you're prepared for dark things to happen to the main character! It might get a bit gory at times, but please don't complain about the content in the work- this warning is here to help you! (I've experienced issues with people who dislike the content of a fic and turned on me simply because they didn't like it despite the tags and warnings. It's perfectly fine for you to express your emotional responses in the comments, but please no arguments or witch hunting!)
> 
> Also... spoilers for the main bleach story ahead.
> 
> The song for this chapter is Play With Fire, by Sam Tinnesz.

                                                                     

**CHAPTER 1**

_**O REAPER, SHALL YOU SCREAM?** _

_**"Scream to the heavens, let your inner discourse consume you- for you are a cursed being, inside and out, lost in the valleys of emotion you claim to control yet are puppeteered by." -???  
** _

The sound of footsteps hitting the paneled roofs of the Soul Society was the only thing that either of them could hear as one gave chase and the other attempted to get away. Dropping down from the roof, trees surrounded the two in a courtyard; they were all filled with butterflies whose wings were as black as the starless sky above them.  “You’re mental, you know that? Him, of all people.” The woman’s hair blew about in the wind as her solemn, yet disgusted, face contorted into anger.

Yuri stepped forth, her stance rather relaxed for a fight. Despite her abilities as a researcher, she didn’t follow the same pattern in battle- Kido was more where she was adept. She was also inept when it came to social situations. “What’s wrong with Captain Kurotsuchi?” She asked, her hands tightly gripping the hilt of her Zanpakuto as her eyes narrowed. “He’s an excellent researcher, along with being a strong role model. What I can’t understand is why you’re so intent on getting him thrown into prison.” How could this woman betray their captain like this?

The woman threw her head back and laughed, despite the wounds she sustained. Neither of them were meant for the field, nor for fighting, but they were regardless. It was almost ironic to see the two of them engaged in this way. “Aren’t you even the least bit curious about the information I hold about Mayuri Kurotsuchi? You haven’t asked even once-”

“Not interested.” Her voice was firm, resolute. The woman before her narrowed her eyes, judgement seeping deep into her marrow. The two simply glared at each other for a few moments before she simply laughed, soft and sanely. Her tone became sorrowful as her pity-filled eyes glanced over Yuri.

“So blindly loyal. He would have liked you if he was still alive.” She glanced at her Zanpakuto. “I never was a fighter. He was always saying stupid things, like ‘I’ll protect you.’ He would have identified personally with your need to protect the one you love.” Her grip tightened as her eyes burned with silver hatred. She rose her blade, pointing it directly at Yuri. The contempt on her face almost deterred Yuri from attacking; she could feel a great sadness emanating from her opponent’s words. “I never learned the name of his Zanpakuto. I don’t think he did either. It’s only fitting that I’d bring the last piece of his soul existing with me to avenge him, right?”

“The blade isn’t yours?” Yuri asked, having come to the conclusion from her words despite the fact she never really said it outright. “Why…? Why are you here if you’re not a fighter?”

“Because Mayuri Kurotsuchi killed my husband. I wanted so desperately to kill that man with my own hands, but I ended up becoming content. I ended up almost forgetting the very man I came to avenge- I ended up making friends, like you.”

“Megumi!”

“But after finding out the truth, it brought me back to reality. You are no friend of mine. You are a pitiful child who loves a man who doesn’t even know she exists! Even if he knew of your one-sided love, he’d never acknowledge you.” Yuri flinched. It hurt, hearing those words coming from someone she treasured so dearly and held so close to her heart. Megumi was the only one she’d ever really created a relationship with. She thought it would be okay to confide in the woman, to pour out her feelings and make them heard even if just by one person- even if that person was not the one she loved. However, by pouring out her emotions to her confidant, she had awakened a dark grudge- one that should have stayed buried. All of this was her fault. “You’re pathetic. He doesn’t deserve to be loved- someone as disgusting as that could never be loved!”

“I don’t care if Captain Kurotsuchi knows I exist or not,” Yuri shook her head, the tip of her Zanpakuto dragging along the earth, making an ever so slight mark in the ground, “That’s not what matters to me.”

“Then you should hate him! If your feelings will never be acknowledged, then despise him to your very core! Succumb to that hatred, destroy the man who doesn’t deserve it! Join me!”

“No!” Yuri’s shout cut through Megumi’s attempt to sway her. Now it was her turn to look at Megumi with pity in her eyes. “Didn’t you hear me?! I don’t care about that kind of thing! You’ve got my feelings all wrong.” Her blade rose from the ground, directly pointing at Megumi as she slightly turned the hilt. Swordplay wasn’t her style, but she pushed forwards anyways. Their blades clashed, sparks flying in all directions as the two looked at one another with contempt in their eyes. “I am in love with Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi. To keep my captain safe, I’d do anything, even if it meant turning on the Seireitei.”

Megumi pushed back against her blade; it was clear that she was stronger and more attuned to swordplay than Yuri was. Yuri’d have to resort to the only thing she did well, but timing is what counted. She needed to take the woman off guard. The only way to do that effectively was to keep her talking, which should be simple. “He has Nemu, you know. Why would he ever need you?” Megumi attempted to take another approach separate from the one she had tried before, but jealousy wasn’t something Yuri was prone to.

“You clearly know nothing about our captain,” Yuri’s feet slid back a bit, definitely unable to cling to the ground. If it came down to raw power, Megumi would win. Still, the opening wasn’t there yet- she was too alert. “He would never love or care for someone in any way other than seeing them as an object. As for Nemu, I love her too. I love the entirety of the Research and Development division, simply because both are tied to Captain Kurotsuchi. I love the Seireitei! It’s impossible he’d ever feel any kind of affection for someone in any way other than professional and that’s just another thing to admire about him!”

“You’re psychotic! Obsessed, a stalker! How insane do you have to be to love somebody as disgusting as that?! To not hate them desperately for being that way! Even being able to face him despite hiding such an ugly truth from him… you’re so goddamned creepy, Yuri Saiki!” It was almost time. Just a little push- one more push- and she’d be in the safe zone.

“None of my feelings matter. O lord, I love Captain Kurotsuchi in a way I can’t help; mask of blood and flesh, the reason why I can face him, why I can face anyone, all creation, flutter wings, you who bears the name of Man, nobody knows I exist! I’m a nameless soul reaper, without shikai or bankai! Inferno and Pandemonium, the sea barrier surges!”

“What the hell kind of crazy trash are you spouting?!”

“March on to the south! Hado 31, Shakkaho!” At that point, it had been perfect- a full on blast at point-blank range, a ball of red, firey energy. It slammed straight into Megumi, tearing through her arm. She let out an agonized scream as she dropped to her knees. “As I was saying. Nobody knows I exist. I have no shikai or bankai, and my zanpakuto is third-rate at best. No, I’m third rate! Even if I’m not worthy, even if I’m not supposed to, I just can’t help these feelings for him! I’ll never let the likes of you or any other defile my beloved captain’s reputation. Luckily for me, you didn’t recognize the Hado incantation I hid within my words, thinking me incompetent as a Soul Reaper rather than realizing I have other tricks up my sleeve.” She’d known that Megumi had trouble with Kido, the one thing Yuri, at that point, had pretended like she had no knowledge of. It was fine, as long as the secret she held died with Megumi.

However, as she turned away from her battle, she glanced up at the sky; it was covered in black butterfly wings, fluttering softly away. Her eyes widened as she came to a quick conclusion of where they had been; she was so absorbed with chasing Megumi she hadn’t even realized that they’d wandered into the Hell Butterfly resting area! “No! Butterflies, come back! Wait! Don’t go! Stop!” She must have startled them with her use of Kido! As her hand reached to the sky, splitting pain ran through her abdomen. Blood dripped from the corner of her mouth as she coughed.

“You turned your back on me, Yuri. Die.” Megumi’s voice was faint; it was clear she was at the end of her lifeline. Yuri staggered, dropping to her knees. “It’s over. Even if you live, the Hell Butterflies are going to tell everybody. It won’t be long before your beloved Mayuri knows of your feelings.”

The last thing Yuri felt running through her veins was pure, unfiltered adrenaline. Gripping her Zanpakuto she swung it around to meet Megumi, but her vision faded just before the hit connected- she was trapped in a cascade of swirling darkness, not knowing or feeling whether she hit the woman or not. She felt nothing but pain and fear, yet still, she would live. She had to live...

 

 **“The Captain’s meeting** is now formally in action. Our most recent issue deals with Division Twelve, much to my surprise and regret. In this incident, one Soul Reaper was felled and the other lays in Division Four’s barracks in critical condition. From the report given- and from what I heard from the hell butterfly that passed me by- it seems like the intent was to sabotage Mayuri Kurotsuchi.” His cane tapped on the ground before his head swivelled to size up Unohana. “The brave Soul Reaper whom stopped this plot is currently under your jurisdiction, Unohana, as your squad was the first to find her. What is her current condition?”

Unohana was as steel-faced as ever, but her expression was grim. The honey-golden eyes of the twelfth captain cut into her as if he was interested in his subordinate’s condition, but she knew better than that. She feared releasing the girl back into the Seireitei because of the rather humiliating situation, but even worse, into Mayuri Kurotsuchi’s arms. “She is currently comatose. There is no sign she’ll be waking up anytime soon, but we don’t have an estimate on when she’ll come to. She lost a good amount of blood before we found her, but her current state is due to severe head trauma- she hit the ground, hard, at a particularly unforgiving angle. The hole in her abdomen is healing and internal bleeding has been stopped.” She paused for a moment. “It’s generally irrelevant, but… I believe she will never be able to produce children. The wounds to her abdomen are just too damaging. As for her abilities, there’s no sign of them- it’s as if her reiatsu has simply vanished.”

“Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi. What do you know about your subordinate?”

“She’s a rather weak being. From what I’ve gathered on her, she struggled greatly in the Soul Reaper academy while having been born in one of the generally well-off areas of the Seireitei. Lived a rather modest, mediocre life, both parents died in an attack on the Seireitei. Supposedly she has a sibling, but while I have sent Nemu to search for him there is no sign of his whereabouts. Her last name has no connection to the third noble house, despite being similar- they have no connections to one another, as I’ve contacted it simply to check. As for my subordinate, I have no idea how she used Kido of that level when she was supposedly unable to remember most of the phrases. She did it so flawlessly, even intermingling it with her little speech in a way that threw off her opponent despite the fact the most recent progress report states that she is still supposedly incapable of even the simplest of Kido techniques. It raises quite a few questions, but rest assured that I will be discharging the girl after I find him, permanently.” _What grand gestures of gratitude,_ Unohana thought, despairingly hurting for the poor girl that will have her heart torn out. But he was right; there was something strange about the fact how she used Kido so effortlessly. Was it simply because it was a high-stakes situation? No, that would be extremely unlikely- it was rare for someone to react like that in the first place.

“If I can interject,” Soi Fon interrupted, bowing her head in respect, “I’d like to do a full investigation regarding this Soul Reaper. Something doesn’t sit right with me and if you’d allow me to interrogate-”

“No! You’re talking about a girl who risked her life to save her Captain from sabotage.” Unohana barged in, something she didn’t do often. If the girl had a reason for lying, it would most likely be a good one. After all, if she was stronger, Kurotsuchi would have noticed her.

“I believe it is my choice in the end, Unohana.” The captain of the fourth division was normally well-composed, but something about Kurotsuchi set her off. She had to do something, otherwise the girl would either end up mentally scarred from Soi Fon’s interrogation tactics, thrown in some dark hole and forgotten, or a victim of the man she claimed to love.

“I’d like to request a transfer. Yuri Saika will come to Division Four and leave Division twelve behind.” The tensity in the room shot through the roof as Kurotsuchi glared at his medical rival. He possessed a hatred for Unohana, while she greatly disliked him.

Of course he’d openly object to a transfer. “Transfer refused!” His voice always went a pitch higher when he was distressed or upset, something she was used to hearing, having always been on the winning end of most arguments or disputes between division four and twelve. Kurotsuchi always seemed like he would pull a temper tantrum if he didn’t get his way and this was definitely borderline. No doubt the girl would be traumatized from her recent experience- the last thing she needed was to be on the receiving end of the abuse Kurotsuchi would inflict upon her.

“Her aforementioned love for you,” Something that made a lot of Captains semi-flinch, since none of them were really acknowledging _that_ part of the message that all of them had heard, “Is unnatural and unusual. I believe that it may be a result of a mental deficiency or medical condition.” A small bout of snickers came from Gin, who straightened up when Kurotsuchi directed his glare at the snakelike man temporarily. “I believe it is in her best interests to seek medical help and some form of therapy, which, if I am correct in assuming, you cannot give her.”

By the look on Captain Kurotsuchi’s face, it was clear that he was not pleased with Unohana’s words. “Your half-baked diagnosis is nothing! She is not even awake yet- you can’t just go and assume! Are you trying to say that someone must possess a mental disorder in order to feel something substantial for me?”

“I am _saying_ that it is an abnormal situation, complete with abnormal behavior.”

“So then you are-”

“Transfer request approved.” Head Captain Yamamoto’s words sliced through the argument the two were entrapped in. “Soi Fon, interrogation will not be necessary. She is hardly worth the resources, let alone the time- she also happens to be responsible for exposing the plot to sabotage Captain Kurotsuchi. I believe she needs time to recuperate; if she exhibits any more disturbing behavior, we will approach this subject again at a later date.” Unohana was glad that she and the head captain could see eye-to-eye, but she dared not look in Kurotsuchi’s direction. She was positive he was seething with rage.

She felt something cold touch her cheek. It was soft, plush and pleasant. Her eyes opened as she weakly struggled to sit up, but something felt wrong. She clutched her stomach as she doubled over painfully, the brightness of the sun shining in through the window blinding her and the sound of crickets in the summer breeze filling her air. Her ears were so sensitive it almost hurt, but all of her senses adjusted quickly. Her eyes felt sore and her lips were chapped. It was as if she was dehydrated, but pain once more filled her senses as memories flooded her mind. Stumbling out of the bed, she knew she had to find out. Did Captain Kurotsuchi know? He couldn’t! There was no way he could know.

Her palms hit the floor and pain coursed through her limbs. Knees smarting, she struggled to her feet, noticing her zanpakuto lying on the chair nearby. Crawling towards it, her abdomen burned with a blistering pain. Her hand slid along the blade of the zanpaktou, cutting into her soft flesh, but the agony of her stomach was enough to make her ignore the pain. Yuri gripped the sharp edge as she stood to her feet, taking in her bleeding hand the hilt of her weapon. Whatever painkillers she’d been given, they’d worn off rather easily. Her zanpakuto made a _tink, tink, tink_ sound as she pushed herself towards the door, her arms shaking from the strenuous activity. Since when had walking become this demanding on energy?

“She’s in there.”

Yuri glared at the door- there were people out there and she was sure they’d be coming in anytime soon. She had to escape, but a little tidbit of information slipped into her ears. “The girl they’re having a Captain’s meeting about, right? Who thought that someone would ever feel that way for Captain Kurotsuchi? He’s weird, isn’t he? Hardly the conversational type.”

“Shush! I’m the one who has to change out her painkillers. It’s been four hours and they wear off fast.”

As the Soul Reapers opened the door, one of them gasped- small puddles of blood covered the floor of the room and the girl’s zanpakuto was gone, although her sheath was still in place. The covers were overturned, while a single window had been opened, one that hadn’t been open when he was here last. He dashed over to the window, trying to figure out where the girl had gone. “Alert Lieutenant Isane about this! The girl’s missing!”

Yuri’s feet dangled off of the roof. She had pulled herself up just in time, but if he had been looking up rather than down he’d have definitely seen her feet. She couldn’t be caught just yet.

 

_Yuri, you have to promise me._

_  
_

She stood, but the pain overtook her senses as she collapsed to one knee.

 

_You have to promise me that you won’t draw attention to yourself._

_  
_

“I’m sorry… I’m more like mom than I’d like to admit.” She said, to nobody in particular. The pain was too much and she could hardly move, but she knew of a way to make it stop. Grabbing the blade of her Zanpakuto, the sharp end slid against her cheek, leaving a small, stinging cut before it stopped at her eye. She felt fear, but there was something more there. She had a reason to do this- she had something she needed to say, something she needed to apologize for. She’d never imagined she’d intrude on a Captain’s meeting, but first she needed to be able to walk.

She grit her teeth as the edge of the blade slid into her eye, twisting and turning, feeling the metal scrape against the bone of her eye socket- her flesh tore to shreds underneath its sharpness and although anyone would scream from the pain in this situation she couldn't. It was sheer willpower keeping her going at this point- the pain of her abdomen went numb as adrenaline filled her blood. Agony filled the hole where her eye had once resided as emotions took over her very being. She withdrew her blade as blood dripped down the side of the roof, but she had already took off. Only the blood remained where she had once knelt.

Making platforms of Reishi underneath her feet, she dashed for the general location of the Captain’s meeting room. She didn’t have time for the sentimentality of the technique, but she thanked her father for teaching it to her. They wouldn’t expect her to be above- they’d be searching the ground rather than the skies.

        

**“I still object to her transfer.”** Mayuri Kurotsuchi’s annoyance was rising and quickly. How dare the Head Captain take authority over him when it came to _his_ subordinates?! “You can’t truly believe Unohana’s analysis! The girl isn’t awake yet!”

“She may be suffering from a mental disorder- she needs to be evaluated before any action is taken. She could be a danger to the Seireitei and it is my duty to assure that she is either cured or put in a state where nobody can be harmed.” Unohana was firm in this conclusion, much to Mayuri’s distaste. How much more was Division Four going to be permitted to step on his authority like this?! His eyes narrowed in distaste for the lowly Captain. She acted as if her Division served the Soul Society with a greater purpose than the department of Research and Development! He did more in a year than she ever would in her entire life!

Jushiro chose now to get involved, as it seemed like the argument wasn’t taking them anywhere. “Now, now. Don’t you think that Unohana can properly diagnose the girl? If she’s fine, I’m sure she’d be more than pleased to hand her back to you after.”

“Are you implying that I can’t diagnose the girl myself?”

“You’re a scientist, not a doctor.” Unohana’s sheathed insult would not go unanswered.

“Then explain how I create medicine the Soul Society depends on.” Mayuri shot back at the bane of his existence.

“Come on, just let Unohana have her for a bit, Mayuri.” Kyoraku attempted to assist Jushiro in keeping the peace between the two as the Head Captain disapprovingly looked on during the chaos between them.

“ _Captain_ Mayuri Kurotsuchi to you.” It seemed like they were making no leeway on who got the girl- Mayuri wasn’t willing to give his subordinate to Unohana, even if she was in a critical condition, while Unohana didn’t want the girl to suffer becoming an experiment for Mayuri’s pleasure. It was a tough situation, while most of the other captains preferred to just stay out of it entirely. Kenpachi was looking extremely bored, seeing as it had nothing to do with fighting or strength- Toshiro was listening along quietly. Byakuya had no immediate interest in the subject at hand, mostly because it had nothing to do with his division.

Aizen bowed his head as he interrupted the four who had managed to get locked into an argument. “If neither of you can make a decision between yourselves, I can take her while Unohana runs tests. Therefore, she doesn’t need to become a part of Division Four and she can remain as a member of Division Twelve.” The arguments quieted down as all attention was on Aizen, who had finally interjected in an attempt to make things peaceful once more.

Their argument was paused as a hell butterfly fluttered into the room, landing quietly on the cane of Head Captain Yamamoto. “I apologize in advance, Captain Unohana!” The room fell deathly silent. “The patient has gone missing- her room is soaked in blood! Her zanpakuto is gone,  but her sheath remains. We’re trying to track her, but we can only find droplets of blood here and there- it’s as if she’s completely disappeared! She’s in a very bad state, judging by the amount of blood she’s left behind. Division Three is doing their best to find her, but she was reported missing twenty minutes ago. By the time this butterfly reaches you, the situation may have changed. It’s not looking good, Captain!”

Mayuri Kurotsuchi was the first to take advantage of this. “And you say you want to diagnose her, but you can’t even keep her in one place! Your incompetence is astounding!” A single, lengthily finger pointed in Unohana’s direction as he battered her with insults. “You call yourself a doctor, but you can’t even keep track of your patients! If she was with _me,_ none of this would have ever happened!”

Unohana’s face twitched for a mere moment. She was beginning to feel annoyance. “We had not expected a greatly injured woman to disappear from our division, Mayuri Kurotsuchi.”

“Bakudo number one. Sai.” The sound of scuffling and pained groans as two bodies hit the floor with a _thump_ caused all of the captains to put their hands on the hilts of their blades. As most were in mid-draw, the doors slowly opened as the very target of their current meeting walked through as if it was the most normal thing to do. Behind her, the two guards struggled with their bindings- something that was ridiculous. Such a basic Bakudo spell should easily be broken by those guarding the Head Captain’s meeting, especially from such an injured person. None of the captains moved, unsure of how to react to the limping girl. Blood dripped onto the floor with every grotesquely slow step as she struggled to move. It was clear she was in agony, but she gritted her teeth throughout it all, her hair falling into a cascading waterfall over her face.

She stumbled once more, but her zanpakuto hit the floor with force enough to create sparks, sinking into the wood. She put most of her weight on it for but a simple moment- it was clear that there was nothing but willpower driving her. A few more steps and her shaking legs almost went down, but she managed to make it. She was almost there.

A single voice cut through the thick silence as if it were nothing more than air.

“What are you doing here?”

The girl froze, all of her muscles tensing up as she tried to think of what to say. It was _him._ This had been the very first time he’d ever addressed her personally like this. It wasn’t the best of situations nor one she had expected to find herself in anytime soon. There was no proper reaction to hearing him speak to her; she had to say something. His honey-golden eyes stared right through her and even if she couldn’t bear to meet him, much to many’s surprise, she dropped to her knees with a _crack_. Her hand loosely held the hilt of her zanpakuto, while her other hung limply by her side. Blood ran down the blade- it didn’t take a genius to figure out it was hers, from the stains on the hilt. Kurotsuchi stepped from his spot in the captain’s meeting, coming to a standstill in front of her before repeating himself, much to his distaste, once more.

“I asked you, girl. What are you doing here? Don’t make me repeat myself again.”

Tears dripped down the girl’s cheek as she reached for the words she had held deep within her. He was acknowledging her- she was stuck between a place of absolute misery and elation, a prison she could not escape. Soi Fon was more than ready to move, but a glance from Head Captain Yamamoto caused her to still her blade. “I apologize… Captain Kurotsuchi.” The first words from her caused him a bit of shock; what on earth was there to apologize for? “I needed to. But the butterflies… my Captain’s reputation…” She struggled with words and keeping herself awake. Just a little longer, damn it! Blood loss wouldn’t stop her now! “I will disappear to make up for my wrongdoings.”

As she glanced up, hoping to catch a final glimpse of her Captain, shudders ran down her spine. The way he was looking at her, his intense gaze focused on her and entirely her, she exposed her gouged-out eye to the Gotei Thirteen. Most would step away, but Kurotsuchi took a step closer, tilting his head as he examined the girl thoroughly. “From the report, you had been stabbed through the abdomen. Your face should have remained intact, so why is it that you are missing an eye?”

“The wound looks fresh- a lot of blood is coming from it. It needs to be tended to immediately, Kurotsuchi!” Unohana was stopped by Mayuri putting up his palm in a motion meant to tell her to stay put.

“Who did this to you?” He couldn’t imagine that it was inflicted by a Soul Reaper. Maybe one may have mistaken her for an enemy and thought that she was all cut up, but it was clear that she hadn’t been found. He had a theory, but it was a ridiculous one at best.

Blood dripped from the gaping hole in her skull, steadily flowing down her cheek. Mayuri was so close that some dripped onto the hem of his robes, but he paid it no mind. “The pain was overcoming me,” Despite the adrenaline having worn off by now, she was doing a good job enduring the pain. “I needed to apologize, Captain. So, I… numbed it. I didn’t have time to go through Division Four and find medicine or painkillers with the rate I was bleeding. I relied on naturally produced adrenaline, the type that only happens when one is grievously wounded.”

 _Interesting._ The girl’s first natural response was to wound herself to make sure she kept moving. She’d taken into account the blood loss and the path of least resistance- the fastest way wasn’t always the best way, but she had what it took to do what she considered necessary, even if it meant wounding herself in a way that could never be healed. He wondered how she felt- the emotional response to such damage, not being able to see, compared to being able to apologize to him. He nodded to himself and the girl seemed to take it as she was dismissed. He had never experienced something as strange as this; Nemu was the only creature who had ever held this level of devotion to him and even then this girl may challenge that notion. Besides, he’d never seen Nemu as human, soul reaper, or even as a woman- simply as a tool, his creation. To think that someone he hadn’t created could feel so deeply was a source of interest, albeit creepy.

“Thank you… for letting me speak, Head Captain. I will disappear.” Her sword shook, scratching the ground underneath it as she stood on shaking knees. Kenpachi showed a mild interest in this, as even though the girl was a weakling, she had guts. That was something he could respect- hell, he could even see her guts. This wasn’t so bad of a captain’s meeting after all, although it could do without all this emotional pansy bullshit. The Head Captain wasn’t making any motions to stop her as she turned, her zanpakuto hitting the ground with each step. As her grip on the hilt slipped and it clattered to the floor, she reached for her blade before stopping. She didn’t need it anymore, right? After this, she wouldn’t be a Soul Reaper. She wasn’t worthy of being one, she never had been. Knowing that she had reached her limit, she cursed her stamina- if only she could have gotten out of the room. Stumbling without her blade at her side, she careened forward and prepared for impact.

Mayuri wasn’t one for constant shunpo, but he did have semi-advanced knowledge of the technique enough to employ it in most situations. He never once imagined he’d be using it for something other than fighting, however. Mayuri had seen the possibility of her hitting the ground before it even happened, so as he caught the girl, she was greeted with the soft silken texture of his captain’s coat. It made a suitable rest for her head, although she probably couldn’t understand what was going on. Red soaked into the pure white, turning it at least a rusted-color version of what it was. He hadn’t really been the type to ever embrace a subordinate, if you could even call this steady hold an embrace. It had been an automatic response, however, as the girl would certainly be more damaged than before had she hit the ground. It was strange feeling the warmth of another being, especially since his subjects were normally strapped to a table underneath a surgical light, his palms the only thing gracing their skin for a short amount of time before he began his experiments.

He was not surprised at her collapse, but rather that he bothered to catch her. He allowed the girl to slide out of his grasp and drop to the floor with a thud, to which Unohana was already at her side. Mayuri began walking away, before the Head Captain called out to him. “Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Where are you going?”

“Back to my lab, of course. I have tests to run- need I mention that I am developing the next line of Gigai?” His sudden uncaring exterior, as if he was separating himself from the entire situation, was clear. “When you are finished with _my_ subordinate, if she is still able to use her Soul Reaper abilities- return her to me.”

“I have already accepted her transfer to Division Four.”

“While I respect your decision, Head Captain, she is a researcher, not a doctor. She belongs with my Division, not Unohana’s. I would prefer that she does stay in any other Division other than Unohana’s during the healing process, however.” Those stunning golden eyes would stare at the Head Captain, bordering defiance. “If you’d like to wait for her to wake up before transferring her back, that is fine- as long as she is returned where you got her from.” There was no emotion behind his words- he simply didn’t want to lose one of _his_ subordinates to Unohana. That whore was enough of a pain in his ass already without succeeding in taking what was his. It didn’t matter if it was medicine, an object, or even a soul reaper- losing it to Unohana was out of the question. If she dared defy him, he’d kill the victim before he let her join the Fourth Division.

Unohana glanced down at the poor Soul Reaper who would surely suffer because of her affections. Kurotsuchi had left, while Unohana turned to Aizen. “I’m afraid I need assistance in carrying her. If you could have your men prepare quarters for her, this is the only way Mayuri Kurotsuchi will allow her to be treated.” Aizen nodded, kneeling down as he attempted to support the girl’s body. She wasn’t too heavy but much to his distaste he’d find himself coated in blood. Oh well, Soul Society points before he destroyed it- he’d just have to bide his time a little longer and put up with these annoyances. One point to Aizen, zero for Mayuri. The less he was suspected, the better. He’d already ruined Kisuke- maybe using her, he could ruin Mayuri as well.

Only time would tell if she would be useful or not, although he couldn’t really see any place for her at the moment.

Oh fuck, was Aizen ever wrong in this situation.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! If you wanna come join my Discord server, Merc's Lounge, and just chill and talk- you're more than welcome! We have people interested in all kinds of things. (also, we need more people who are into bleach. Cuz... yeah.) 
> 
> https://discord.gg/ZnPYTvP
> 
> If you join, you may get live updates about the story rather than waiting for it here! That's probably... one of the few benefits of joining. xDD Not making this sound enticing, am I?
> 
> As for criticism, please! I'd love for some. Just make it constructive criticism. I've known quite a few people who got opinions mixed up with criticism. 
> 
> For example, "I think the main character should not be ____, or ___. She's so stupid! She should have done this, it would have made the story better!" If the main character does something, it's most likely because it's in her character, not because it's for the plot. She'll react to her surroundings in whatever way her personality forces her to. This is not a good form of criticism! It is opinionated, and as much as I'd love to hear your opinions, please do not classify something like this as criticism!
> 
> However, "If the main character had taken this action, seeing as she acts like this, it would have greatly improved the scene because of the emotional value or plot attached to it." Or, "Mayuri wouldn't have done that, mostly because his personality is like this and the action he would have taken is like this..." is constructive! Anybody can give it a whirl, so if you do see something that catches your eye, please tell me! Even a mistake, or too many commas! Anything! I'd like to improve my work and make it the best it can be!
> 
> There will also be a ton of fight scenes, simply because I need to practice being able to utilize them for my own original work.


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